Wednesday 25 July 2012

Naked Fear

We all have our fears. Whether unfounded or proven they can overshadow our lives in a very profound and lasting way. It's said we fear the unknown, I don't believe that, it bucks our exploratory nature. I believe we fear what we know, and building upon that what we imagine, and certainly beyond the borders of our imagination awaits paranoia.

My fears as a single man are without a doubt the stuff of too much thinking, "I think, therefore I fear" is an apt axiom. Above all else I fear never being in love again, it's the trunk from which all my other anxieties branch, and never having sex again is likely the largest branch. Getting too damn old to have sex before I have it again is another fear. We're all moving in that direction, it cannot be avoided by anything other than an early death.

Time lords over my fears, it would seem. It's all a matter of not having enough time. Each day that goes by is one less day I'll have to spend with her, one less day we can be intimate, that's assuming "she" ever comes along at all. It's difficult to shake fears when they're reinforced day after lonely day. Still, while I must live with my fears (for now) I will not allow them to control me, nor to pressure me into an unhealthy relationship just for the sake of being in one.