Sunday 20 May 2012

Bitch, Please!

Okay. Uh-huh. I see. Your boyfriend; your ex; your beneficial friend, is treating you like a sex toy, and it's breaking your little heart. He's never made love to you, you want to be made love to. We've talked about it, what you want from a relationship, or even just a sexual partnership.

I get it, I'm your confidant, but guess what, you're pissing me off. More than that, you're depressing me. Perhaps you may have noticed, but I'm not with anyone, and I know you haven't noticed, I know exactly what you want, and I know you don't have the slightest clue, I can give it to you.

I'm not asexual, I have the parts, and they work, better than you realize, but that's never occurred to you, has it?

Ladies, perhaps you've done this to some poor sap, that, or you're doing it right now, but what you fail to realize is, you're slowly grooming the perfect partner, a man that knows you inside and out, what you like in and out of bed. It's tantamount to growing something, and just so the metaphor is clear, let's say a cucumber. You cultivate it with your wishes and your griping, and before long it ripens, but do you pick it and enjoy it? Not likely. You ignore it and allow it to sour, at which point your trusted confidant loses interest and steps in front of a bus.

There you have it. A perfectly good cucumber becomes a lemon and rolls off into obscurity while you continue to take it from a perfect A-hole.

I do realize this social phenomenon swings both ways, and so I encourage the sympathetic ears of either sex to take a stand. What's the difference between being turned down or simply walking away of your own volition? The heart is pained either way. So speak up, perhaps all those many hours of consolation will pay off, if you never try, you'll never know.

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